When I wish upon you
by Nosferatu523
Summary: After having his lover die, Ichigo is left without his soul mate; leaving him with a feeling of emptiness, memories are a good and bad thing as he stares at the star filled night, remebering. -Songfic- Character death Slight lemon. GrimmIchi fluff!


**I´m on a writing spree!**

**New oneshot/songfic. I had planned to do this a couple of months ago returning from Mexico after seeing Miyavi, but didn´t have time. I absolutely love, adore, cherish this song and through it would be a nice fluffy Grimmichi songfic.**

**Song: Kimi ni negai wo – Miyavi**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**_Warnings:_ This story contains YAOI (boy on boy) [slightly and not very EXPLCIT] don´t like don´t read, extreme fluff, slight OOC´ness, and orthographic errors, so don´t complain you have been warned.**

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**Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, if it belonged to me Ichigo´s surname would be Jaegerjaquez.**

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**When I wish upon you…**

**(Kimi ni negai wo)**

By

Nosferatu523

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**Both the faded dreams of that day, and the dusty, smeared drawing of the future,**

**Because you were always there watching**

**Both the days when I complained about them not coming true, and the roads that only go in roundabout ways**

**I overcame them, and now I'm here like this.**

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They had always been inseparable, much to people´s dismay. Ichigo couldn´t help but let a bitter smirk curl on his mouth. _`Must be fucking happy now he´s gone and their precious Sereitei saved. Bunch of fucking hypocrites.´_ He though as the light breeze of the wind passed through his hair in a caressing manner. Making him almost close his eyes and lean against the nice feeling, keyword _almost_; he didn´t have anyone to neither lean against nor hear that person bitch about his need to get all cuddly and touchy.

Winter war had come faster than everybody expected, time had passed by so rapidly you couldn´t even blink. Fighting against Aizen must have been one of the hardest things he had done in his young life…besides letting his friend, lover, soul mate die for him, no that would have been great and a little less hurting, the truth is he died for _Soul Society _of all things, even if in a way it was for him.

His dreams, his future all crushed by the end of winter, the end of war, the one person he wanted, needed, cherished, desired…gone, just like that (sometimes he still _couldn´t_ believe it…wouldn´t bring himself to do it).

Sitting on one of the roofs of the many houses in Karakura town, Ichigo brooded silently, remembering how Grimmjow used to sit next him in times like these and just watch his behavior curiously among other things, as Ichigo told him about his day (more like bitched), the Sexta would quietly listen to every word, despite the arrancar´s brutal nature he always had a soft spot for Ichigo (and had his moments), a side only reserved for him; and for that Ichigo would always be thankful.

Grimmjow would just sit next him and hear everything his orange haired lover had to say…his complaints on why _he_ a mere teenage boy had to defeat Aizen, his fear of not _being able_ to save everybody (watching his friends die one by one) nor beat Aizen, his desires for a _future together_ (he wanted Grimmjow to integrate and live with him in the real world) after war was over, the feeling that his wishes would _never come true _(he always had a feeling that one of them would not come out alive from war).

The Sexta would always just hear him pour out his soul, never talk, just listen to the shinigami boy tell him his most guarded thoughts and see the way his beautiful soft caramel eyes fill with unwanted tears of frustration, fear, desperation…love for him and they way he tried to blink them away not wanting to cry, to be _weak _in front of his lover, because one thing was saying what he felt and another was letting his feelings out; and when Ichigo least expected it, the blue haired arrancar would swing an arm around him and press his head to the warmth of his chest letting the younger male cry his heart out, not caring that down his chest were running tears and more tears, that the boys shoulder´s shook so badly he had to have a tight grip on them, that his sobs and chocked screams were so full of desperation that it almost broke his inexistent heart, that he was getting wet, that a man (a warrior) shouldn´t cry…he just didn´t give a damn, didn´t judge Ichigo for having his moment of weakness and Ichigo will forever be grateful for having had a wonderful man in his teenage life.

Standing up from the roof top he took one good look at Karakura, the town he helped save, the place he was born, grew up, had friends, his mother died, his family lived…where he lived his happiest moments of his life; and most importantly the place where he had broken down and Grimmjow had been there in his silent smirking (cocky) way to pick him up piece by piece, he overcame his fears, won war and turned into the shell of a person he now was.

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**What was I able to do for you? What wasn't I able to do?**

**Since then I've always tried to ask myself, but**

**No matter how many times I knock on the door of my heart, even though I try to open it and pull something out from within my chest**

**What comes out were only fun memories…**

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Had he ever done something good for Grimmjow? Was he happy the time he was with him? Did he ever want _something more_ than to just be with Ichigo?

He would never know the answers to his questions. Grimmjow was gone, dead, turned into ash that the wind had carried away; he couldn´t even give his lover a _proper burial _because there was _no body to bury_.

Wondering if Grimmjow ever wanted something more for his life never lasted long since memories of them being together just came out and mesmerized him.

He remembered the shock everybody at Soul Society had felt when he informed them that Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez Sexta Espada from Aizen´s army was a double spy and had been feeding him information from Aizen at least a good six months, and that they were lovers.

Every single one of the taicho's, Fukutaicho's, and shinigami had gone silent.

Then Yamamoto had said that it was unacceptable, that a hollow could not ever unite and fight along with a shinigami (even if they gave information that had helped a_ lot_), much less fornicate with one. The teal haired arrancar, patience never being his forte cussed at the old man and told him that he had plenty of opportunities to take information from Ichigo to Aizen, kidnap Ichigo and leave Soul Society without their savior or simply kill the boy…he had done none…why? He left them to decide the answer, and while many shinigami understood the nature of their relationship, Yamamoto would have none of it, saying that Grimmjow had been sent by Aizen to spy on Soul Society using Ichigo as a way inside Sereitei.

Before Grimmjow could unsheathe Pantera, Ichigo already was in his bankai form Hollow mask in place, reiatsu roaming warningly all over the place. Never in his life had he been that angry, he now wished he would have killed the old geezer, but he did no such thing.

Going up to Yamamoto in a rapid speed he told him a few warning (threatening) words before leaving with his partner. They were not seen until the day of war which was still a good five months from that day.

Ichigo still clearly remembered the words he had told Yamamoto as if it were yesterday, _`Stay the fuck away from us, one move, one shinigami that isn´t Renji or Rukia, one fucking wrong step and I will kill you Yamamoto…or better yet, let Aizen fucking destroy the hell out of your pitiful Sereitei and I won´t move a single fucking finger to help you.´_

They hadn´t seen a single shinigami that wasn´t Renji or Rukia and were in peace until war came.

He sometimes still couldn´t believe he had threatened the old man.

The nostalgic but sweet thought of him defending his relationship with Grimmjow like a lioness defending its cubs brought a smile to his face, Grimmjow had always said he sometimes acted like some kind of mad woman, that usually earned him a scowl and a smack in the back of the head.

In a weird kind of way Grimmjow _had_ been right, he did act like a woman, sometimes.

Seeing his window coming to view as he passed the buildings he quietly opened it and went inside, as he slid through it a painful twinge went though his gut as he remembered Grimmjow doing the exact same thing as he came and visited from Hueco Mundo some nights. He had to admit those nights were the best, he would have the opportunity to sleep with a warm body next to his…and then there was the sex.

Kami, the sex was incredible, Grimmjow had stamina of an animal but he made sure Ichigo enjoyed every second of it. Their coupling had been full of everything but monotony. The teal haired arrancar would sometimes fuck him so hard and wildly he thought he would split in two, but the fantastic wave of pleasure as he hit his prostate with twice the force he normally did was worth it, his orgasm´s had always been at best those times. Even his inner hollow had once said he wouldn´t mind letting Grimmjow be his king, and that was something to say.

When he wasn´t pounding into him at the nearest wall, he would slowly take his time and cherish the orange heads body. Pass his hands softly almost delicately as he traced every curve of his body with his hands and tongue wanting to never forget his way through the lean anatomy, eyes taking in his naked and heaving form drinking him up in a way that made him blush like a schoolgirl.

He closed his eyes as he blinked the tears away, this time there was no Grimmjow to press his face on his chest and hold him silently as he cried his heart out.

Opening them he looked at his room, and set eyes on his bed…the bed where Grimmjow had first taken him, where he had lost and given his virginity to the arrancar, the first time he_ knew_ Grimmjow _loved him_, something even the substitute shinigami didn´t think was possible.

Walking closer to the bed he passed a hand through the covers as if feeling his lover´s presence.

He remembered how everything had occurred.

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He was doing homework on his desk i-Pod on while he finished the last of his algebra problems; he never felt when the Espada had slipped into his room.

"The fuck is that?" The strong male voice and loud cussing made him jump. Taking off his earphones he turned off his i-Pod and turned to face the teal haired man.

"What in the world are you doing here Grimmjow?" His tone was flat; he was tired and had no time for the Sexta´s sparring moods.

"Told ya, the fuck is that?" He motioned to his desk where a book and notebook both full of numbers where at.

"Algebra homework." Grimmjow stared.

"Algebra?" A blue brow lifted.

"Are you finished yet?" Ichigo narrowed his eyes at the odd question.

"No, it´s to fucking difficult…besides numbers aren´t my forte" He mumbled.

Grimmjow just shrugged before walking and slumping on the teen´s bed, making himself comfortable.

"I´ll help if you like." A simple suggestion. Ichigo found himself nodding, before something clicked in.

"How the fuck do you know algebra?" Grimmjow just smirked before muttering something about Aizen fucking Sama having a big ass library and he having too much free time (when not killing lower class hollows or arrancar) and not having those much decent fighting partners.

Their study session had turned into a hot make out session as the minutes passed. How? Why? When? They neither noticed nor cared.

Climbing into Grimmjow´s lap the orange haired –then virgin- shinigami gasped as he felt the solid hard cock under the Sexta´s hakama. Small blush made way to his already heated face as he heard the older man grunt in approval.

Grimmjow passed his rough calloused hands trough the shinigamis sides until he steadied the boy, hands on his hour glass hips. Thrusting his own hips upwards he felt his erection bump with the hazel eyed boys, letting the young inexperienced orange head moan at the contact.

Taking his cheek with one hand he moved Ichigo´s face towards him, coaxing his lips open with his tongue, passing his wet muscle through his bottom lip before biting it gently, feeling the light shiver that passed through the shinigamis body.

Ichigo was oblivious to everything around him but the pleasure that Grimmjow was making him feel and of course the blue head who he on top of. Not knowing what to do the young teen simply settled with wrapping his arms around the Sexta´s neck.

Separating himself from the shinigamis mouth Grimmjow admired the light trail of saliva that was left behind along with his lover´s red tinted cheeks and dazzled look. Tilting Ichigo´s head back he started leaving a trail of hot wet kisses all over his neck while his already experienced hands went under his shirt, slowly lifting it up inch by inch until Ichigo was obliged (shakily) to put his arms in the air and let the cotton material slide of him and be thrown to the floor.

Ichigo had never been so nervous, what if Grimmjow didn´t like what he saw? Sure he was thin and had his muscles but he considered his body a little too _feminine_ for a 15 year old boy. He had a waist of a woman or hour glass figure as he was mostly told and that did very little to help his ego.

Sensing the boy´s discomfort Grimmjow teasingly passed a hand up the boys bare torso admiring his abs and how every time he passed a hand they twitched under his touch, finally stopping at his nipples he took the small caramel colored nub between is forefinger and thumb and teasingly rolled them feeling the way the hardened and Ichigo mewled at the feeling. Letting his right hand pass through the boy´s ass kneading it, he passed his tongue swiftly through his nipple encasing it with his warmth, sucking and biting ever so softly.

Locking his fingers in the hoops of the orange heads jeans he tugged down letting the boy get the message that he wanted them down now.

Looking at Grimmjow Ichigo gulped, this was it once he took off his pants there was no going back, and strangely enough he wasn´t at all that scared just nervous of Grimmjow not finding him attractive.

Grabbing Grimmjow´s hand he guided it straight to the button of his jeans in a silent agreement, never loosing eye contact with the azure eyed arrancar.

His pants were off in less than a second…along with his boxers, and he was lying on his back on the bed, Grimmjow standing before him watching his naked form.

"D-don´t look at me like that." He managed to murmur at seeing the strange look on Grimmjow´s face, he adverted his gaze to a spot on the wall.

"Look at you like what? Like I want you shinigami? Like you're the most beautiful thing I ever laid eyes on?" Kami, Ichigo could practically hear Grimmjow´s arousal through his words never in his life had he felt so wanted, so loved; he had been called beautiful before but never like this, the feeling was just so foreign.

Not wasting any time Grimmjow shed himself of his waist length jacket and stepped out of his Hakama, leaving him in his naked glory for Ichigo to admire.

He was beautifully perfect was the orange heads first thought. Grimmjow had an amazing sculpted body that not even an artist himself could design, his light blue hair made a wonderful contrast with his white but slightly tanned skin and teal blue electric eyes. Looking lower he caught the hollow hole on his abdomen which only made him look a hell lot more sexy. And between tow well formed hard legs was one of the largest manhood´s he had ever seen (in his virgin adolescent life) unconsciously he licked his lips.

Grimmjow smirked. "See something ya like shinigami?"

Ichigo frowned. He was not going to give up his virginity to a man who couldn´t even call him by his name. Gathering up his courage he spoke up.

"My name is Ichigo." It was barely above a whisper but Grimmjow caught it, the widening of eyes told the shinigami so.

A flash of something passed through Grimmjow´s eyes before he slipped on bed on top of the orange haired boy. Leaning forward he captured the slightly bruised and puffy lips in a swift kiss before murmuring, "I know." He opened Ichigo´s legs wide.

"Have any lube?"

Ichigo didn´t respond just reached with his hand under the bed and produced a small bottle, giving it to the teal haired man.

Popping the cap with his mouth Grimmjow poured some on his fingers, before setting aside the bottle.

"You ready?"

Ichigo nodded not sure his vocal cords worked well right now.

Guiding his finger between Ichigo´s legs he gently probed the until now untouched hole, and gently introduced his index finger admiring how rapidly it passed through the tight rings of muscle, in a couple of minutes three fingers had stretched Ichigo widely enough and he had located the boys prostate.

Grabbing the bottle once again he poured a lot more on his hand and smeared it across his pulsing member before aligning himself with Ichigo´s entrance.

"Ready Ichi?"

Ichigo nodded liking the new pet name, "Yeah."

He had then entered him slowly, careful not to hurt him and whispered soothing words into his ear before swiftly grabbing hold of his cock and pumping it with practiced ease, the pain in his rear being subsided for a bit. In a matter of seconds the feeling of being full was known to him, and he loved every second of it.

Grimmjow had moved in and out, his slicked cock sliding effortlessly, their erotic dance was the most delicate and loving thing he had done. Grimmjow treated him with such delicacy he thought he would die of pleasure and happiness all at the same time.

Closing his eyes once again he remembered vividly the words Grimmjow said to him as they made love for the first time.

"_You´re so fucking beautiful Ichi."_

"_Fucking amazing."_

"_Love ya berry."_

Those last three words had meant the world to him and still did.

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**I just always loved you.**

**Just that, it was just that alone, but that was the only thing in me.**

**And now, too, I love you unchangingly.**

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Some might think he is too young to know what love is, they are wrong; he might be young in age be he is much older than most people in spirit, mind and soul, and he´d fucking commit Seppuku if what he felt for Grimmjow wasn´t love, pure unadulterated _love_.

He knew since the first time he saw the blue haired man, he would fall deep, fast and hard for him. He had the cockiest attitude, attacked his best friend and almost killed her and beat the shit out of him…but he had also made him feel alive, something he hadn´t felt in a long time. So he trained, trained hard and a lot so in their next fight he would make Grimmjow feel alive as well.

Some would call him masoquist, he called it infatuation. He admit it, at first he was a little obsessed with the Sexta, but he just wanted to be noticed…little did he know that he had caught the arrancars eye way before he did.

It might not have been the best of relationships, but Ichigo was _happy_. He was smiling so often he felt his grin would be plastered on his face forever, and Grimmjow had ceased his bloodlust a little, he thought they would be like that for a long time…how wrong he was.

No matter how many defects people told him Grimmjow had, he just shook his head and told them it was alright, after all when you love someone you accept them just like they are, and Grimmjow without any of his trademark traits such as, his smirk, cockiness, bloodlust, cussing, pride…all those things made him what he was…simply Grimmjow. Cause that was all the teal haired man was to him Grimmjow. He wasn´t Aizen´s army tool, an arrancar (Espada no less) technically dead, the bad guy who wasn´t suppose to have feelings; he was simply his older blue haired complicated beautiful lover.

He didn't need reasons of why he loved him, he just did. Nor did he need to change how he was he loved him just as is.

He never quite knew how much Grimmjow appreciated that, the teal haired man never had the chance to tell him.

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**One day you and I lined up and wished on the beautiful, starry night sky**

**I've already forgotten our wishes from that time, but**

**All I remember is thinking, "It would be great if this moment could go on forever"**

**Now that I think about it, it would've been great if I had wished for that, too.**

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Climbing to his own roof top this time, he sat alone with only the light of the full moon at its most beautiful façade to accompany him. He and Grimmjow had always licked to get on rooftops for some unknown reason and just sit there, sometimes talk, sometimes watch the night sky, the sunset, or the beauty of the little town.

It was their moment and nobody else´s that had been sure.

More tears threatened to fall and it took all of Ichigo´s will not to simply let them fall, he would never cry without Grimmjow…it made him feel weak. Oh the irony of the situation.

He remembered once when they were on top of the same spot on this very same roof top just staring at the star draped sky, when a shooting star passed, an alluring goldish white trail left behind it.

Ichigo has pointed at it and told Grimmjow to quickly make a wish, said man lifted an eyebrow before telling him he didn´t believe in silly things such as making a wish to a shooting star.

Ichigo had ignored him and wished for both of them; he wished that their love would never end.

And his wish had come true. Their love would never end, he knew it…Grimmjow died giving him the opportunity to kill Aizen and saving his life in the process…nobody does such an idiotic thing, yet love makes us do stupid idiotic things.

Little did Ichigo know that Grimmjow _did_ make a wish that night, he wished that his young lover would live past war where he knew there was a slim change of him to survive, he wished to have power to protect him at _any_ cost not caring if his own life was at risk.

Ichigo would never know that Grimmjow´s wish too came true.

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**But there is no god.**

**When you became a star, I swore.**

**That I don't need a god, so long as you're there being you.**

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He had never believed in god. Not since his mother died anyways, he had hated god for a long time actually before deciding that god did not exist therefore he didn´t have to waste his time hating something inexistent.

He came to the conclusion that god was simply something humans created to feel protected when they were alone, in despair, desperate, anguished, somebody who they could turn to when they need help, somebody who would hear them out and give them the hope to solve their problems, sickness, etc. Somebody they could all turn their heads too and cherish.

That´s when he realized Grimmjow had become his god.

Smiling he looked up at the night sky, he didn´t need god not when he had Grimmjow…even if it had for a short period of time. He knew Grimmjow would keep looking out for him.

With that though in mind he finally lets the tears come out, he would allow himself this moment of weakness just for once, Grimmjow deserved to be mourned the proper way.

Quietly wiping the rest of his tears away he silently got up and made his way inside his house, the night was almost over and tomorrow…well tomorrow was a new day.

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**Today this city where you aren't present is just as noisy and busy as ever,**

**As if nothing had happened at all, it gets dark.**

**As the months and years quickly pass by, in the middle of the gently changing seasons,**

**Whenever I happen to look up at the night sky, I think about that day.**

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Four years had passed since winter war and Grimmjow´s death. Ichigo was now a twenty year old man and was in medical school.

He still did not have a partner, and everybody knew he never would.

Walking through the crowded streets of Karakura he remembers, remembers exactly the places that were missing, the buildings that were blasted away, the houses that disappeared after being caught in a cero or any other attack from shinigami or arrancar.

War had been vicious.

There are a couple of people passing by, oblivious to the fact that in this exact day at this exact hour four years ago they could have died if it wasn´t for him and…Grimmjow.

The people continue to make their way.

It wasn´t easy to think or talk about Grimmjow, but as the years passed by it became less painful. The open wound had closed, but there was still a fresh scar and sometimes he wondered if it would ever heal completely.

Arriving home he greeted his family, kicked goat face in the face sending him flying to the kitchen (some things _never_ change) left his things in his room before making his way to the rooftop.

The sky never looked more divine and enticing than it did this day _every_ year. And somehow Ichigo knew it was Grimmjow´s way of saying he was still there watching over him.

Yes, today was definitely a day he would never forget in his entire life

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**And I quietly wish, a wish upon you who became a star.**

**"I'm fine now, because I can stand on my own." Because I'm not alone, right?**

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A smile graced his full plump pink lips as a single shooting star passes by.

Closing his eyes he wishes for his lover to be happy wherever he is and to please keep watching him, loving him…

He had gained strength he never knew he could have, had made many accomplishments in these four years and many more where to come.

He had gained confidence in himself and had learned to get up on his own, cry when he had to, talk to sky when he needed to be heard and walk on his own the path that was destined for _him_. He knew Grimmjow would be proud of him.

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**That's right, I'll live just as much as you.**

**You, too, will always live on within me.**

**Because again, like that time, you'll always be by my side watching over me.**

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His shinigami badge began to vibrate at that moment, and he sensed a couple of high reiatsus, knowing it was probably a couple of rogue arrancars and hollows that decided to come and disturb peace in Karakura he quickly got out of his body, shinigami robes flowing with the chilly night air, Zangetsu on his back along with a thin long light blue handled katana with equally blue sheath at his side.

Pantera.

The only physical thing he had left from Grimmjow. Shuunsui and Ukitake had found it when retrieving Aizen´s corpse…or what was left of it. Right next to it was the katana delicately lying there as good as new, nobody knew why it hadn´t disintegrated along with its master.

Not thinking twice they had given it to Ichigo right away, the gratefulness that his face showed at receiving the prized katana was worth being yelled and questioned by Yamamoto to why they had done such an idiotic thing.

He had carried Pantera alongside with him every time, sometimes combing him with Zangetsu in bankai form, Urahara had trained him a soon as he knew Ichigo wanted to learn how to fight with two katanas, not even bothering to ask why or where the extra had come.

Flash stepping towards the location he unsheathed Zangetsu from his back, before diving straight towards the three hollows and two arrancars.

Feeling Grimmjow by his side, he felt alive again. And knew the teal haired cocky arrancar would be waiting for him until time called him by his side, meanwhile he would just have to sit back and watch the show…while taking care of his ass.

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**When I wish upon you, when I wish upon you.**

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**I wish you all a very Happy New year!**

**I will _probably_ update Unforeseen Holiday after January 1st, seeing as I´m going out of the city for a couple of day´s…and unfortunally I do not have a laptop. **

**So, I guess this will most likely be my last piece this year.**

**:D**

**A little feedback would be nice! :)**


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